Friday, April 17, 2009

You spy your long time love laying eggs in the wilderness one evening

These tables really have nothing to do with B/X or Valley of Blue Snails. Rather just anecdotal write-ups for my own amusement. I am fond of random tables, probably a side effect of growing up with AD&D.

Anyhow, this is the follow up to the traumatic childhood background generator. Onwards to the Traumatic Adolescent Background Generator:

New ability score deriving physical appearance, roll 3d6. Discard this ability score at the end of adolescence. The memory will always haunt you however.

3 – Exiled from the village for being not of your race
4 – Ruthlessly tormented and forced to wear bag over head
5 – Beaten at random intervals for no apparent reason
6-8 – Brought along by your good-looking friends to stand next too
8-11 – Non-descript and utterly forgettable
12-14 - 1 in d4 chance to have a stalker (roll on Hirelings table)
15-16 – 1-3 in d4 chance to have a stalker (roll on Hirelings table)
17 – Ritualistically beaten by far uglier peers and family
18 – Extremely paranoid from lurid looks and random gropings from entire village

The Wisdom for an adolescent can never be above 12. If the modified Wisdom is 0 or under, it is assumed the PC has gotten themselves killed in a spectacularly stupid manner.

1 – minus 6 (permanent injury incurred caused by lack of wisdom)
2 – minus 5 (temporary injury incurred caused by lack of wisdom)
3 – minus 4 (several scars caused by lack of wisdom)
4 – minus 3
5 – minus 2
6 – minus 1 (remarkably unscarred)

Aka – gullible friends. They will be available as future hirelings. Roll once unless your Charisma modifier is 0 (then you have no friends).

1 – An ill-tempered marmot capable of using tools but can not speak
2 – Friend of opposite sex, extremely attractive with no interest in you what-so-ever
3 – Lost Ogre who stays in the woods, friendly because you bring him small furry animals
4 – Disguised Fey creature entertaining himself for a few years
5 – Friend of same race, exact same interests, skills and traumas
6 – Friend of the same race, wholly inept
7 – A completely innocent, pure, and gullible friend of the same race
8 – Friend of the same race, who is better than you at just about everything
9 – A hopping bird with a smug look on its face
10 – Friend of different race, wholly inept
11 –The lone survivor of a decadent and extinct race
12 – Friend of different race, who is better than you at just about everything
13 – Some old hermit that follows you around
14 – A colony of lepers
15 – A dog that never stops barking
16 – A foreigner who can not speak your language but is remarkably loyal.
17 – The village retard with freakish strength
18 – Young orphan kid with a knack of finding snares and traps
19 – A blood-crazed and insane Knight who calls you ‘liege’
20 – A half-man half-cat that hides in your addict. Howls incessantly at the moon.

‘Trade skill’ is any knowledge applicable towards making a living. Fishing, begging, carpentry, pick pocketing, flogging, scribing, hole-digging, and so forth. Roll once.

1 – PC incapable of learning anything useful (hence their future career as adventurer)
2 – Trade skill learned but turns out to be wholly inept in any application
3 – Single trade skill learned and mastered
4-5 – No trade skills learned, but cursory knowledge of a great many things
6-8 – Two trade skills learned and re-roll (ignore 1)
9-10 – Two trade skills learned
11-12 – Single trade skilled learned

Roll as many times as your Intelligence language modifier allows (0-3 times usually). Player or DM choose the language they wish to learn, results below.

1 – Gibberish, the language was made up by a hard-up or insane instructor
2 – Language learned, but different language than intended
3 – Language learned with strangely alluring dialect
4-5 – Language learned and mastered with fluency as if born with it
6-8 – Language learned remedially, many words have entirely different meaning than what you think they do
9-10 – Language can be written and read, but unable to pronounce
11 – Language learned, and can understand all similar languages
12 –Language learned with annoying and irritating dialect

Count the number of odd dice rolls thus far. Roll on this table that many times (1-5 usually).

1 – Re-roll twice and combine the events. Ignore 1.
2 – Re-roll. You learn an appropriate trade skill from applicable event.
3-5 – Horror Event
6-8 – Romance Event
9-11 – Adventure Event
12 – Weird/Other Event


1 – Head stuck in a hole in ground for 1d8 days. Something licks your legs periodically during your entrapment.
2 – Deranged hermit pulling a cart with unidentified meat follows you around at night for 1d4 years
3 – Walking barnacles abscond 1d4 members of your family and are never seen again
4 – Tawdry and irksome fey spirit prevents you from getting a good nights rest for 1d4 years
5 – Any deceased siblings or family reanimate and haunt your village periodically
6 – Another is blamed for a crime that you commit and is burned on a pyre. A revenant in a twisted amalgam of fire and that person seeks to slay you twice a year
7 – A Kalevope culls the lands around your dwelling once a year, no matter where you live
8 – A priest inadvertently turns you with his turn undead ability. It appears to effect you
9 – Strange ticks grow under you skin and must be burned out lest they multiply
10 – A wingless forest drake smashes your dwelling while you are not home and devours all inside. It used the remaining timbers for its nest
11 – A horrid Nakki drags you into its stagnant pool and forces you to clean the bones of its victims. In 1d6 years you manage to escape with many horrible tales.
12 – A water nymph enslaves you but is utterly boring. You are released 1d4 years later with few tales to tell.
13 – A group of carnivorous ape-men ransack your village leaving you as the only survivor
14 – Nomadic Frog-Yetis encamp near your village causing much horror and strife for 1d6 months. By the time they leave over half of the village is dead or maimed.
15 – You are enslaved by the Carpmen of Raelenac and forced to scrape abalone shells on a Meglo-Coy for 1d4 years before escaping.
16 – A small but playful Trent ensnares your legs in its roots. It does not release you for 1d4 months.
17 – You fall down a sinkhole permeated with the remnants of Vaunderfel, the Great Spring. You age in reverse until reborn into a different being (re-roll stats and race). This occurs within 1d4 months time and none recognize you after.
18 – Desert raiders enslave your village forcing you to act as pack animals. You escape 1d6 years later.
19 – An old and forgotten being of enormous power is released from its bygone prison by your meddling. It promises to repay you someday, searing your mind as it communicates.
20 – While sleeping in the wilderness you get enveloped by a Sky-Shell and live within a pocket of air and fluids inside of the creature for 1d6 months before escaping.


1 – You have absolutely no romance in your adolescence and are mocked ceaselessly by your peers
2 – Desert raiders abscond you into slavery, forcing you act as a pleasure slave in the profane Ziggurats of the Man-Bull. You are released 1d4 years later. Gain a trade skill.
3 – The sexually frustrated Elf maids from the Village of Two Stars kidnap and fight with one another over mating rituals for 1d4 years. Still unresolved, you eventually escape.
4 – A moonlight date to some abandoned ruins result into running for life from crazed flesh-eating Halflings. Your date has 1 in d4 chance of escaping and naming you hero.
5 – A walk on the shores of nearby lake with your date results in a tribe of intelligent sand-crabs worshiping you both as a god.
6 – A winged fey creature becomes infatuated with you for 1d4 years, following you day and night
7 – Your hireling falls madly in love with you (applicable if you rolled on the hireling table, otherwise re-roll)
8 – You are forced into an arrange marriage by your family, roll for race and birthright of new family
9 – You fall madly in love with a Knights squire. The belligerent Knight hates you at first sight. They quickly travel away but you vow to find them one day (squire can be male or female or any race)
10 – An orphan vagrant falls madly in love you with and follows you around until death
11 – You find a potential mate to be amazingly beautiful and attractive. Everyone else you speak with talks about this person as if they are the ugliest person in the village
12 – The one you love cares not for you. An ancient family text speaks of a mushroom from the Great Rot that will infatuate all who look upon you should you devour it. A map of the location of where these mushrooms can be found are located in the book.
13 – A rival courtier of the one you love challenges you to a duel. You accept and accidentally geld the person. None in the village will be seen with you now.
14 – A wizard/sorceress falls in love you with you and is constantly changing their shape into alluring forms to gain your love.
15 – When finally alone with your date, you inexplicable turn into a fox-beast and attempt to devour them. None believe the tale.
16 – A wayward spirit steals a part of your spirit. You can feel no love nor lust until you retrieve it from them.
17 – You awake one morning married in Astrumdantalas with a mate of ill-repute whom you never recall meeting.
18 – An ogre of the opposite sex finds you and drags you off to their cave. You barely escape the event, but still hear forlorn cries from that area of the wilderness to this day.
19 – You awake most mornings with smallish fey creatures cuddled against you. They leave tiny offerings of flowers, sweet food and perfumes.
20 – You spy your long time love laying eggs in the wilderness one evening.


1 – The PC finds a nest with an opal-eyed fox in it. The fox follows the PC around and attempts to remove the skin from my other humanoids its comes across
2 – You follow some singing in the distance and find several of the village females dancing and singing around huge nodding toad. The women flee if confronted, but the toad-thing speaks to you of fantastic adventures to the far south.
3 – You find a pole in the wilds that climbs higher than you see. You climb it as far as you can but it appears to be endless.
4 – While traveling six screaming men run past you with ruined clothing and smoldering hair. One of them drops a half-burned tome that speaks of an underground desert.
5 – A traveling Bard plays a song of a Bard trapped in a keep who is forced to play music to keep an angry tribe of man-eating bears asleep. The next day when you speak of the Bard none know what or who you speak of.
6 – While swimming in a lake you find a large tablet of polished coral. You drag it up the surface and see upon it a miniature city of incredible detail. The city appears to be abandoned but you see tiny sculptures of minuscule shrimp among the coral.
7 – After stealing a shield from a wandering Knight, a magic mouth follows you endlessly insulting you in many strange tongues. A wizard agree to remove the magic mouth, but only if you find him some rare grasses from the Valley of Endless Summer.
8 – A colony of lepers imposes themselves into the center of town unless the PC find them a new home.
9 – The fields of rye turn ashen and start to rot from the ground up. On your land you find a small cave leading under the fields of rye.
10 – As penance for committing an act of heresy, the local Priest-Lord send you on a quest to find an ancient knight an honorable death in combat. He puts emphasis on ‘honorable’. (Gain ancient knight as henchman until he has found an honorable death)
11 – A troupe of Marggots build a carnival some miles away and the village sends you to find out what it is all about.
12 – A fetid and diseased rhino stumbles near your home. When dealing with the creature it vomits a ruby encrusted bracer (value 500g). When worn the PC hears faint chuckling.
13 – A huge flightless birds runs into your dwelling, takes your most valuable possession in its beak and flees and blurring speed. You track it the best you can but you only know it headed towards a thicket of foreboding woods that none enter.
14 – While near a waterfall you think you saw a pair of feline eyes behind it. Exploring behind the water fall you see a crevice that sinks into the depths. You also find a huge discarded cat-claw larger than you are.
15 – While looking for a camping site you come across a meadow with a dozen Dwarves that appear to be sleeping. They all are simply overcome with lethargy and stare upwards. When you look upwards you see a low hanging cloud with a near invisible rope hanging down.
16 – A theater troupe stages a play that insults the local lord. All are due to be executed in a week unless they can make the lord laugh. They are all foreigners who can not speak the native language. Only you can translate for them.
17 – A group of pygmies wearing feather-clothing jumps out as you walk on a road and toss spears at you, some wounding you. When they hear your angry cries they flee up the tall trees. You can see platforms in the high canopy.
18 – A PC is given the deed to a pawn-shop in a nearby city. The store is in complete shambles, vagrants often use it to sleep in, and a crazy dwarf lives in the walls.
19 – A crazed Tyrannosaurus assault your village and you miraculously defeat with legendary bravery and guile. The local lord is so impressed he sends you on mission after mission of nearly suicidal quests.
20 – A half-man half-raccoon stumbles towards you camp, lets out and chattering sound then tosses a pouch of regurgitated seeds in your lap. Before you can respond it flees to a taboo vale that none enter.


1 – A fey creature leaves a child at your door step. (if taken) the child grows to adulthood in 1d4 years, looking exactly like you
2 – While working you see a cat standing on a strange pillow that flies above the ground. If followed it eventually lifts off high into the night sky
3 – While in a drunken brawl, a wounded friend appear to be bleeding water. When closely inspected they flee. When met the following day they pass it off as you being drunk
4 – A sullen painter asks you to pose for a portrait. After a few hours he starts screaming and runs off never to be seen again. The painting is of you sitting upon a bronze throne with ruby-eyed imps prostrating themselves at your feet
5 – You find a Cudgel like weapon wrought from fossilized wood embedded in the side of a hill The Cudgel is larger than your dwelling
6 – Your friend swears on his life that he saw the chair in his room beat the snot out of his table. His table appears to be in shambles and the chair looks remarkably smug
7 – When coming home one day you find a group of six trilobites carrying your (most valuable possession) under your dwelling
8 – A saber-tooth cat will periodically jump on your back out of no where, give you a quick mauling, and then scamper off leaving only superficial wounds
9 – After bathing in a small pond of tranquil and serene water your notice your hair is remarkably full, flowing and vibrant. It grows quickly past your shoulders and the slightest wind bellows it heroically
10 – After traveling to a cave you once found when a child, you find a skeleton of a child. Long since dead, a pair old cloths it wore that appear exactly like the ones that you once owned
11 – You find a tomb made of fossilized wood with strange glyphs carved upon it. After studying the glyphs you think you can read it, but hear ghostly sounds when you start to do so
12 – While traveling on a long forgotten road you come across a coaching-inn. You open the door and see fey and goblinoid creatures enraptured in a wild scene of debauchery and unspeakable acts. You flee but the scene in seared into your mind
13 – In your travels you find a huge flowering plant with a large silver sphere in the center of the flower. (if removed) The orb transforms into a malicious leprechaun that torments you at in opportune times with song and dance
14 – You find a geyser that erupts erratically, sometimes days, sometimes months apart. When showered by the geyser you gain great insights (+1d4 Int and Wis for 1 week).
15 – While tracking your lost horse, you find a tar infested canyon hidden in the wilds. Deep within you find your horse being eaten by a diseased and featherless Ruhk.
16 – You awake one morning with your feet painted red an a adorned crook at your side (value 150g). Occasionally you can see odd looking crickets in the trees above you peering in your direction.
17 – A carpet of rolling moss implants false memories into your head as you walk upon it. (roll again on the Adolescence Events Table, this event is merely a false memory)
18 – A small duck billed Hadrosaurid will periodically approach you when it thinks you are asleep and clean any parasites from your skin and hair. This is strangely soothing and does not wake you.
19 – After using a bar of soap given to you by a Dwarven trader, all of your body hair falls out. If eaten, the soap changes your gender.
20 – Lichen grows prolifically on a notably comfortable pair of boots you own and must be scraped daily to be kept clean. The lichen is eatable albeit not very tasty.

I am not sure if I will delve into adult events or not. I am getting a bit loopy after that last batch, and lets face it, adult life is boring anyhow.

Entry - One Page Dungeon Creation Contest

I am generally a sucker for contests so I recently did a write up for one floating around the OD&D blogs. Here is my submission to the One Page Adventure Design Contest. My submission is streamlined version of a homebrew adventure which I've had decent fun running several times in the past year. Also I'm a bit lazy in drawing new maps so that is another factor in not doing something on the spot.

As for the promotion, I like the idea for the 1-page adventures but in all honesty I find the format to be uninspired. It is a simple 'big map here' 'other crap every where else' with no formatting to speak of. I tend to be more creative with limitations so honestly things like word count, font type, strict layout would have been a favor to me.

So, what is a good 1-page adventure? The box set From the Ashes came with about 30 or so 1-page adventures that were terrific. Some I still use some to this day. Too bad the format in the contest can't really cater to this plot-heavy type of adventures. It seems like it is simply old-school for old-school sake rather than being practical.

Monday, April 13, 2009

A fire-breathing were-mammoth destroys half the village while calling your name

Yes, slow day at work today so this is my 'Traumatic Childhood Background PC Generator'. Perhaps I will work up an adolescent and adult events one day.. anyhow this is for childhood events.

So grab some dice and start rolling:

1 – Human 2 - Elf 3 – Dwarf 4 – Halfling

SEX (use roll above)
If your dice is to the right of you, Male. To the left, Female.

1 – Fighter 2 – Magic User 3- Thief 4 - Cleric

ALIGNMENT (use roll above)
Light colored dice, good. Dark colored, evil. Mid-tone, Neutral.

1 – Lost/Alien
2 - Decadent
3 - Nomadic
4 - Tribal
5 - Hierarchical
6 - Autocratic
7 - Feudal
8 - Communal
9 - Progressive
10 – Re-roll twice and combine. Ignore 10.

1 – Slave/Exile
2 - Serf
3 – Lowborn Commoner
4 – Highborn Commoner
5 - Merchant
6 - Guilder
7 - Craftsmen
8 - Clergy
9 - Nobility
10 – Re-roll twice and combine. Ignore 10.

Even – Both parents alive
1 – Both parents dead
3 – Mother dead
5 – Father dead
7 – Bastard child
9 –No family, raised on the streets/wilds
D8-1 for Siblings, 8s are re-rolled twice and added.

Count the number of odd dice rolls thus far. Roll on this table that many times (1-5 usually).
1 – Re-roll twice and combine the events. Ignore 1.
2 – Re-roll. This occurred but the PC blocks the memory out.
3-5 – Conflict Event
6-8 – Criminal Event
9-11 – Adventure Event
12 – Weird/Other Event

1 – Re-roll event, this event results in the characters death. Re-roll character
2 – Chagmen rampage your homeland stealing all pre-teen males (yourself included if male). You are to blame for enraging the Chagmen. (all male siblings die)
3 – Giant leeches erupt from the ground killing those to slow to flee. You are to blame for awakening the leeches. (1d4 siblings die)
4 – A headless Giants smashes every building in your village, except for yours.
5 – Your homeland was surrounded and starved by the Ladoga Imperial Army for 1d10 years.(1d4 siblings die)
6 – An army of semi-intelligent forest animals rampages through your homeland. Your people blame you.
7 – A belligerent drunk starts a riot that burns your village to the ground. The drunk is your closest family member/friend.
8 – A family of Tuehni live in your basement for 1d4 years, occasionally dragging the unwary to their doom.(1d4 siblings die)
9 – A swarm of hundreds of Molletuesks lay their eggs in your homeland. It is said you are to blame.
10 – The Elf Village of Ten Winds slays every able-bodied man in your village looking for the acorn of the World Tree that you stole from them.
11 – An small army of Fionn riding Toucans raiding your village cutting and stealing the dwellers hair. You are the only survivor with their hair unscathed.
12 – After you insult a stranger, the stranger uses an Oculus power to burn your village to the ground.(1d4 siblings die)
13 – A cadre of Dwarven clergy men defile every holy place in your village due to your presence.
14 – A walking tree chases you throughout the village after you angered its spirit. Nothing grows where it chased you to this day.
15 – A small army of water-monkeys steals everything metallic and shiny from your village after you stole a shiny stone from their stone pile.
16 – A fire-breathing were-mammoth destroys half the village while calling your name.(1d6 siblings die)
17 – A swarm of Marggots raid your village, feasting upon its children. You are the lone child survivor.
18 – The Walking Stone completely obliterates your village as it chases you through your homeland.(1d8 siblings die)
19 – A herd of decaying and water-logged horses erupt from the river and hunt you ruthlessly after you toss some salt into their river. Most of the village is destroyed.(1d6 siblings die)
20 – Re-roll twice and combine events. Ignore duplicate results.

1 – The PC is accosted for brigandage. The PC is forced to wear iron boots for 1d4 years.
2 – The PC is accosted for begging in the presence of a noble. The PC is forced to wear a halter for 1d10 days and walk through the streets of his homeland.
3 – PC is accosted for piracy and transfer of illicit slaves. The PC is racked for 7 days and nights. The PC is 1 inch taller.
4 – The PC is accosted for stealing dog food. PC is placed in a rat cage with 2d12 rats for 1d10 days.
5 – The PC is accosted for strangling small animals. PC is hanged until unconsciousness every day for 7 days.
6 – The PC is accosted for attempted murder of a high noble. The PC miraculously escape before certain death and starts a new life. Re-roll Society and Birthright.
7 – The PC is accosted for arson. PC is seared with boiling oil.
8 – The village witch accuses the PC of angering the spirits. The PC is lashed for 3 days and so is the witch.
9 – The PC is accosted for raiding the royal harem. They are chemically gelded. The PC is now a eunuch.
10 – The PC is accosted for horse theft. The PC released after the horse steals a child and is later captured and put down.
11 – The PC is accosted for capturing and bottling fey creatures. The PC is placed in a brass tub and soaked in rotten fluids for 1d6 days.
12 – The PC befriends a kindly blacksmith who later turns out to be Medlacklon the Black Vile, an infamous assassin. The PC is released out of fear.
13 – The PC is accosted to defiling holy relics. The PC is magically compelled to only tell truths.
14 – The PC is accosted for sedition. The laws of the kingdom are written upon the PCs flesh and remain to this day.
15 – The PC blatantly slays the village bully in a fit of rage. No one knows this.
16 – The PC is accosted for heresy after a water nymph follows the PC where ever they go and seduces all in her wake. The PC is later acquitted after the judge is seduced.
17 – The PC is accosted for horse mangling after a noble tramples the PC and lames his horse. The PC is imprisoned and beaten daily by the noble for 1d4 years.
18 – The PC is accosted for counterfeiting. The PCs hands were binded for 1d4 years with a coin in each.
19 – The PC beats a bully child only to find out the child is the disguised Prince of the realm. A large stone is tied to the PCs waist and they must drag it for 1d6 years.
20 – Re-roll twice and combine events. Ignore duplicate results. The PC is entirely innocent of said crimes.

1 – The PC finds a Chagmen who offers the PC a large sapphire if the PC bring him a child to devour. If the PC accepts, the gem is worth 2000gp but the child ghost haunts him.
2 – The PC finds a large leathery egg on the beach of a large lake. The PC kept it safe for years but the egg has not changed nor hatched (yet..).
3 – The PC sets off to kill mice for an odd job. After setting a trap the PC finds a mouse with a hat, a tiny crossbow and a tiny belt. The mouse speaks and offers the PC treasure if they free him. (If they agree) The mouse gives the PC thousands of tiny gold coins, value, 1gp.
4 – A Halfling mistress of Gnaeun accosts and marries the PC in a strange land. The PC is later released and wanders back home, only left with the words that she will return for them at a later date.
5 – The PC finds a underground chasm that leads to a underground valley still carrying the full effects of The Great Rot. Occasionally the PC sees walking mushrooms following them.
6 – A rotting river otter corpse follows the PC home one day, scratching at his window and door then scampering away when confronted. Eventually the corpse is found outside the PCs window unmoving. A silver otter amulet is clutched in its jaws, value, 200gp.
7 – A lone knight crosses paths with the PC while on the road. The knight speaks of the PCs eventual heroic deeds and honor before riding off. A few days later the PC sees the knight ‘s image on a mausoleum in his travels, apparently a Paladin who perished an age ago.
8 – A rancid behemoth hippo attacks the PCs village and the PC lured it away. Unfortunately the thing dwells under a well used bridge cutting off the main road too and from the town.
9 – The PC accidentally released a group of desiccated Halflings from a bygone barrow. The Halfling Ghouls stalk the village and terrorize the entire area.
10 – The PC finds a man in rich garbs in the deep woods being strangled by a feathered imp-creature. The PC scares off the imp but the man is dead. A book on the man contains information on spells and ritual to conjure creatures from other places.
11 – The PC finds a bush with plump orange leaves which are edible. The PC seems impervious to sickness if they consume at least one per week. Only the PC knows where this plant is.
12 – The PC finds a piece of ice that never melts. When carried the PC feels as if they are being watched.
13 – The PC find a large tar pit and strange fey creatures appear to live within. They have invited the PC into the pit to see their home but the PC has yet to accept.
14 – A traveling Elf maid gives the PC an orchid plant. The orchid never changes and is perpetually pointing towards one direction, even if turned or moved. If the Orchid is followed like a compass, it leads to a strange and wondrous place leagues away.
15 – The PC finds a lone bolder marbled with lapis. Before the PC can take any, a deer-spirit emerges and begs the PC to leave it. (if heeded) A yellow deer can be seen in the distance when the PC is in the wilds. (if ignored) Gain 1500gp in lapis.
16 – One hundred fat hamsters scamper across the road when the PC is traveling. If followed they dive into a sinkhole writhing through mud and compost. The PC follows the narrow path and finds an underground ziggurat on a miniature scale.
17 – The PC came face to face with the dread wurm Haecern while on the roads. The wurm demanded tribute but when the PC had little to offer, the wurm only mentioned it would ask again one day.
18 – In a pile of family books the PC comes across a map of an island west of Kaboria. This island is not listed on any other map the PC has found. Scrawled across the map in giant letters reads 'BEWARE THE PARROTS!'.
19 – An uncle visits the PC and tells them grand tales of adventure in the southern lands of Saltwhisker Glens. The uncle speaks of a Marggot King who owes him his life and says to speak his name should they travel to there.
20 – The PC is dragged away by a group of cat-men and taken to a desert city where the PC is forces to dance and juggle. After many months the PC escaped and find their way home, but none believe their tale.

1 – Perfectly normal childhood. The PCs peers mock the child for his normalcy.
2 – Every morning the PC wakes up and finds a silver piece under their head, as well as a splitting headache.
3 – PC is ruthlessly hunted by Dwarven slave-traders for an unknown reason. The Dwarves have a very annoying war cry they scream when ever they see the PC, 'Vbblalalalbalalalalbala!'
4 – Rats and other vermin hate the PC and attack on sight. Other animals find the PCs skin very tasty.
5 – Strange words appear in the PCs mind when they dream and the PC can usually remember them. If spoken aloud nearby spirits take notice.
6 – The PC dreams of another life and other experiences. Generate another entirely new character for the PCs alter ego in this dream world. At some point of time the personalities will switch.
7 – Halfling precognition is always blank in areas where the PC should be. This greatly unsettles Halflings.
8 – Once per full moon a lead tablet with the PCs name will appear near them during the night. Should this tablet be harmed in any way, the PC will suffer the applicable effects as well.
9 – A crow will occasionally follow the PC and bark guttural words that appear to mock the current situation.
10 – When ever the PC has broken an egg, someone very close to that PC has died.
11 – A pearl button seems to appear on the PC clothing, no matter what they are wearing. Random buttons the PCs apparel are usually missing as well.
12 – The PC gains a sense of inexplicable serenity when pointing towards the north-east. The PC gains a feeling of loathing when pointed another direction.
13 – Occasionally when the PC is alone in the wilds, a talking hedge lizard will roam near the PC and gives them non-sense advice.
14 – After the PC was beaten ruthlessly with cattails by a group of fey, the PC seems to never get hungry and must be reminded to eat or else starve to death.
15 – Ashes appear in the PCs footsteps after they commit an evil act.
16 – When drunk, the PC can see and communicate with spirits, much to the chagrin of the spirits.
17 – The PC can play any instrument even though they have never learned how.
18 – The PC can speak and communicate with moving machinery. The machinery completely lacks humor or sarcasm but is fond of well-oiled puns.
19 – The PC is compelled to travel to Nifflaer during the Lightless Day of Loksos and dance naked for days on end.
20 – The PC is not actually of his race, but their form was forced upon them as punishment for some prior transgression. The DM should instead create another race for the PC which was their original form and former life.

Appropriate phobias, nightmares, paranoia, nervous twitching, and likelihood to burst into tears at random times should likewise be recorded.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Cleric Rationale

Rationalizing Clerics has troubled me since starting Valley of Blue Snails, and I have thus far avoided the issue by skirting over all but the most basic details. Naturally this has to end as I am sewing up some loose ends as I am putting together a working copy of the rules and setting. I have about a month left however, which is enough time for some new ideas.

One idea I have been messing with is using a pantheon war between four or five pantheons. The pantheons would likely be fairly straight forward with vastly different agendas and philosophies. Naturally they come into conflict with one another and use their mortal power-base to wipe each other out. So which pantheons? I am not sure yet, but I need something that would have constant conflict within civilization. My first inclinations (and cheesy names off the top of my head):

Fiorse (Finnic/Norse) - Finnic and Norse have similar themes, stories and philosophies. A lot of the gods themselves are practically interchangeable. Hierarchical but independently motivated with vying agendas. Generally have the best interest of themselves and the world at heart.

Egyines - (
Egyptian/Chinese) - Foreign pantheon encroaching on the civilized areas of the campaign. Thus while they are definitely human/humanoid, they have very different and alien philosophies. Similar to above with a hierarchical map of gods, although their vision of good/evil and right and wrong are vastly different.

Paragons - Each race has a paragon deity(or deities) which embodies the archetype of that race. They will have their own pantheon and it will include everything from humans to elves to fey to dragons to were-elephants. The deities are equally powerful and quite potent. They however rarely work together and only have the best interest of their patron race to care for.

Nehmerian - (Nehwon/Cimmerian) - These gods are identifiable as human or humanoid but usually more eccentric and defiantly more rogue. They have no organization and battle with each other as often as other pantheons. This is the largest 'pantheon', at least by sheer numbers of deities. This is the home of the 'failed' Paragons as well.

'Old Gods' - This will blanket anything that is not above including primeval deities, deities from long ago, elemental or natural force deities, loathsome unfathomable deities, and just about anything else that does not fit in.

The most important thing is that they fight with one another considerably. And so a good reasons for mace wielding, spell casting, holy warriors to be around. They would naturally vie with other pantheons foremost, and with each other secondarily. Temples would be erected either towards an entire pantheon or specific deities. Specific deities mostly, although other deities of the same pantheon could certainly be worshiped there, at least if the first few examples above.

Deities that are clearly historical will use a thinly veiled disguises with a name change and perhaps some small changed to fit the setting. Most of the others I will make up on the fly. Individual Clerics would support a specific deity first, and pantheon secondarily. They would fully be expected to battle on the front lines using martial skills in combination with divine magics.

The gods themselves are strictly tied to their nature and simply do not know how to behave otherwise. This makes them have little reason to interfere directly with mortals, unless it is simply to fuck with them. Most mortals are far too unpredictable for gods, sort of like a shovel with a hose for a handle. Gods will usually only speak to the most obedient and best trained priests who act as close to them as they possible - and so these priest end up being the most powerful. The gods are also not omnipotent; they may have prophecies to share but can not tell for sure what the future will hold. Gods frequently make mistakes when they delve into things that are not in their nature - and so most gods loath to do so. Gods can understand what all mortals say but can not listen to their minds. Lastly gods can and do die.

Anyhow, some of this will likely change as I mull it over. Perhaps drastically if I come up with something better.